Funniest Glee Scene EVER!

VINNIE: Here is your shamwa. Guard it with your life.

FEMALE SWIMMER: Every "guppy" gets one and only one.

VINNIE: You also get a letterman's robe. So you need to think of a nickname to embroider on the back. It should be water themed. I'm "Vinnie the Gill."

SAM: Would "Trouty-Mouth" work?

COACH WASHINGTON: Sam Evans, I'm coach Roz Washington, and you are one strange looking kid. I've never seen lips like that on a white child, and one of your nipples is higher than the other. I bet you had to overcome a lot with those crooked nipples.

Well, I know a thing or two about over coming. When I was growing up, they said that black folks couldn't swim. But I had a DREAM!--that one day I would get to the promise land. So I swam my way, and got my forty acres and a pool.

VINNIE: Coach Roz was an olympian.

COACH WASHINGTON: That's right. I won this damn bronze olympic medal in Beijing, China in individual synchronized swimming. I bet you didn't even know there was any such thing as individual synchronized swimming?

Nod to me if I'm gettin' through to you. Nod to me.

(Sam nods, while concealing his freakishly uneven nipples behind tightly crossed arms)

COACH WASHINGTON: (stepping into Sam's personal space) I'm gonna say one thing to you, Sam Evans. I'm only gonna say it to you once. IF you PEE in MY pool, I will KEELLL you.