I have an abominable memory for jokes. Generally I enjoy them, but I just can't remember them. My Colorado cousin Fwd a funny little joke to me today and, to return the favor I transcribed one of only two jokes I have ever been able to memorize in my life. I do not remember who told it to me, and God knows I've embellished it over the years. Hopefully, you'll enjoy it, too.
JOKE #1
In a bar along the coastal highway in southern California the bartender looks up and sees a stranger enter. He's obviously a drifter.
He steps up to the bar and orders a drink, which the bartender delivers. No sooner is the glass on the bar, than the stranger empties it in one gulp and asks for another.
Well, given the fact that the bartender doesn't know the man, and because he's seen his type before, he asks the man to pay for the first drink before he'll get him a second.
The stranger replies that he doesn't have any money.
"I knew it," declares the bartender, "Hit the road!"
But the man protests saying, "I do have something of value!" Where upon he reaches into his knap sack and retrieves a perfectly formed miniature grand piano, which he places on the bar. The bartender's eyes widen in amazement.
"But wait," says the man, "there's more." Next he pulls out a miniature piano bench and lifts its lid to reveal tiny pieces of sheet music.
The bartender then exclaims, "This is incredible!" as he gently tests the keys and discovers a perfectly tuned, functioning, five inch tall grand piano.
The stranger looks at him square in the eyes and says, "I've saved the best part for last." Once again carefully reaching into his knap sack, he removes a nine inch tall little man clad in a formal tuxedo who goes directly to the piano and begins to the play a Bach sonata!
The bartender is completely dumbfounded and asks, "WHERE on earth did you GET these?"
The stranger answers, "The other night I had to sleep on the beach. When I awoke the tide had washed in what appeared to be an Arabian lamp. So on a lark I rubbed it. And suddenly out popped a Genie! He told me he would grant me one wish!"
"And you asked for a nine inch pianist?" interrupted the bartender.
"Well, not exactly....."
Thursday, March 23, 2006
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