How Sue "C"'s Halloween

You know, Halloween is fast approaching: the day when parents encourage little boys to dress like little girls, and little girls to dress like whores, and go to door-to-door brow beating hard working Americans into given them free food. Well, you know what western Ohio? We’ve lost the true meaning of Halloween: Fear! Halloween is the magical day of the year when a child is told that their grandmother is a demon who’s been feeding them rat casserole with a crunchy garnish of their own scabs. Children must know fear. Without it, they won’t know how to behave. They’ll try Frenching grizzly bears or consider living in Florida.

So, moms, skip trick-or-treating this year. And instead sit your little toddler down and explain that daddy’s a hungry zombie, and before he went out to sharpen his pitchfork, he whispered to mommy, that “you look delicious.”

And that’s how Sue, “C”’s it.