A Christmas Memory #1

One Christmas, back around 1991, my Chocolate Lab, Beau (may he RIP) ate all of the RED GLASS Ornaments off my Christmas tree. I noticed when sitting in a chair next to the tree one evening after a long day at work watching something on TV and happening to glance at the tree. There were red ornaments from about 2 feet up, but below that, nothing!
I first looked at the cat and she responded with a glance that said, "Oh, Puhlease! You have no fucking idea what goes on around here when you're away!" And then I looked at Beau, and he just shot back one of his dullard standard expressions that said, "What? No, honestly, what?" He was nothing if not sincere.

Well, for the life of me I couldn't find the slightest evidence of the missing ornaments and both of the eye-witnesses remained impassive and without any sign of culpability. Then, as they say so often in South Africa, "The proof was in the pudding!" Or the poop, in this peculiar case.

Because, you see, for about a week I found piles of Beau's droppings glinting red in the December sunlight, all flecked with what remained of the consumed red glass ornaments!!! I shit you not! And he never EVER showed any sign of distress, let alone any evidence of injury. 

That crazy dog was such a piece of work...