My Day

Had an interesting couple of days in a state sponsored training for educators around the roll-out of the Common Core State Standards in Maryland. Each school sends a team of four people and the information is presented by content area wherein I represent Mathematics.

The opening of the meeting was held in a large auditorium and as we were leaving I ran into one of my best friends among fellow Staff Development Teachers in the county. "C" and I were elevated to the position in the same year (2004) and got to know one another during the many in-service trainings that were held to initiate and support us in our first on the job. Naturally, we agreed to sit together, and as it turned out we were sat in groups of 4 during the rest of the meeting sessions.

Rounding out our quartet was "M1," a first year SDT who had used some tools that I have developed with her teachers over the course of the year, but who I had never meet before, and "M2" who was a good friend of "C".

One of the things that I love about "C" (and it's really just a little thing to be sure) is just how different we are. I'm guessing, but I'm probably old enough to be her father! She is Jewish and not just Jewish but very orthodoxically so. I don't know my Judaism well enough to parse out the various degrees, on the surface she's totally hip and wonderful, but underneath her faith adheres her to a very strict set of rules and, well, I'm as laissez faire as they come!

To the point: On the first day of our training we participated in an activity that permitted us to "get to know" each other and as I'm not shy about who I am, I shared a story that made reference to my ex- and that my ex- was a man. Immediately, I sensed a wall arise between "M2" and myself. "M2"'s sharing was about injustices done to her husband who is a policeman in DC, and about her sons (9 & 16) and their recent involvements over the summer break. "M2" is about the same age as "C" and I assumed that she was Hispanic by cultural heritage---but I was wrong as became apparent over our three days together. She made it clear that her husband is black. The other ladies are both white. At the time of her sharing, I probed her story for more information and totally agreed with her as to the injustice of the situation her husband and family endured. It was about policy and dealing with people strung out on drugs. Our communications as a group were very supportive as we changed the focus to the content of mathematics.

So today, I was not completely surprised, but just a little offended by "M2" when she arrived at the training carrying a large Chick-fil-A drink. Today was designated by conservative anti-gay activists, like Rush Limbaugh and Michael Huckabee, as Chick-fil-A solidarity day where those who oppose the rights of Homosexuals to marry where supposed to spend money at a Chick-fil-A. "M2" arrived late to the training because she stood in line to support such bigotry.

Clearly she knew that I am gay, and clearly she should have known that displaying the large drink container was on this day an act of political/social/cultural expression. And it hurt my feelings. I thought we had connected during the previous two days, and that by doing so she would at the very least be polite towards me.

At one point, I made it a point to have her notice me notice the drink container and then offered a look that expressed disappointment. Given my options, I felt that out of respect for her, it was my best choice.